I remember getting off the stage at work and I felt the sharpest of pains in my upper ribs. I felt as if I had broken them or at least, I had bruised them somehow.
I was drunk and hysterically crying on the dressing room floor… I called my boyfriend and he picked me up immediately. He drove me to the ER and the doctor asked me if I had been drinking, I told him the truth and then, he told me that nothing was wrong.
My ribs literally felt like they were smashed to bits. I didn’t believe him. I thought he hadn’t taken me seriously.
I scheduled an appointment with a doctor after the pointless trip to the ER and she was surprised that I hadn’t been given an X-Ray. She gave me one but also saw nothing wrong. She said there could have been a hairline fracture that isn’t even detectable by an X-Ray machine or it was simply a contusion and there was nothing she could do to fix either of ’em. She gave me some pills to numb the pain and it went away after a few days. I still don’t know what was wrong with me.
The second time I went to the ER… I was once again drunk at work but this time I was on the rag. I had cut the string off my tampon and stuffed it all the way in me, like all of the other girls do, you know… so I could dance naked without anyone being able to see it. When I went to the restroom, I tried to get it out and it was NOT budging. One of my co-workers tried to help me get it out and she was like, “Ohmigosh, I can’t even get my fingers in there. You need to go to the doctor! You could get toxic shock syndrome.” I explained my situation to the manager but was still forced to pay a “leave-early” fee.
My boyfriend brought me to the ER right away.
When I got there… the nightmare started. I didn’t have to wait long to get into a room but it a took a little while for my turn to see the doctor. When he did come in, he came in with that horrible, pussy stretching tool. The worst pain I’ve ever felt was when he put that cold metal tool in me and stretched me all too quickly to get out the missing tampon. I never go to work on my period anymore.
I’ve never, ever broken a bone, though. Those were my first trips to the ER and they were both probably problems I could have fixed on my own, with patience. I just freak out easily… but, after seeing the consequences (ER and X-Ray bills) of being a hypochondriac… I try not to make trips to the ER or doctor’s office a regular thing.