I’ll save the best for last and we’ll start with the worst parts about my job:
The number one most common thing that all customers have is BAD beer breath. Do I need to explain why this is on the list of worst things about my job?
When a customer licks me would probably have to be the number one worst thing. Why does this happen? I have no idea…men seriously act like dogs (but dogs are better) at the strip club (and they are proud of it). They will lick my back, shoulders, my ears…all the weird parts of my body if I don’t pay attention to them for one milli second.
Along with unwanted licking, you can only imagine how much unwanted touching there is. There is a lot of arm wrestling during lap dances with some customers. This is very, VERY tiring (and will eventually lead me to excusing myself to the restroom for the remainder of our time together).
I often inform my customers of the cameras that are watching him and he continues to say “but there are ways we can do it without being seen” (maybe because another dancer has taught him this). Over and over, I have to say “no.” The whole dance is an argument and an arm wrestling tournament. These are the absolute worst customers to dance for. I would rather endure beer breath over these men, indefinitely.
There are some customers who will force me to take shots before doing a dance. Or ask to “sit down and have a drink first” then say “we’re not going for a dance until you drink it all.” I feel a little nervous about people like that and sometimes I just don’t feel like drinking.
Even worse though are the ones who make me “sit down and have a drink first” and end up not paying me a single dime. These customers come to the club just to waste our night. They promise they will pay X amount after I have a little conversation with them first (understandable) but then, they end up asking for my number and are offended when I decline because they “could’ve sworn we had a real connection.” Like, you promised me X amount to pretend we had a connection…I did my job…now, you’re mad, I’m 2 margaritas in, and negative 30m of my time!
I know that it proves that I’m really good at my job but it’s disgusting when men splooge in their pants and all of a sudden the back of my thigh is wet.
But, the BEST parts are:
I can end any dance early. All dances are pre-paid. If there is any detection of wetness…the dance is o v e r, even if it’s only been 10m and you paid for 30!
Also, if a customer keeps breaking the rules or makes me uncomfortable in any way…I can end the dance. It is all on my terms. That is the best part about my job. I’m the boss of me.
The good customers make up for the bad ones, they really do! There are men who are there to literally worship women and treat us like queens. They believe we deserve to be paid for our time. They sit on their hands during lap dances and they continuously dole out compliments.
If customers are mean to me, I can be mean right back. I don’t have to smile and say “have a nice day!” I can literally say “fuck you!” and walk away like it never happened. 🙂
Some customers even buy us gifts. I’ve gotten small gifts from my customers such as weed pipes, outfits, little bottles of booze, and a necklace. The weekend before Christmas a customer brought me a stocking with my stage name written in cursive on it in glow-in-the-dark puff paint with a whole bag of Tropical Hi-Chews (these yummy Asian chewy candies). Other dancers have received bigger gifts like a new set of breasts, a new butt, a whole mouth of veneers, etc. One dancer told me she’s never had to buy her own dancing heels because her customers always gifted her new ones.
Another thing that I love about my job is I can set my own schedule. There are some clubs (luckily, not mine) that make you stay until a certain time or work a certain amount of hours a night but mostly, you get to choose the days you go in. If I don’t want to work on my birthday I don’t have to put in a “day-off request.” I just don’t go to work! If I want to go on vacation for a week or I don’t want to work when I’m on my period (which I never do!)…I’ll still have a job after my week off.
Along with setting my own schedule, I can take a break whenever I want to while I’m working. There are comfy chairs in the dressing room and food, too. I can eat whenever I want. Or sit and do nothing on my phone. Smoke cigarettes whenever I want. Some clubs I worked at, I was even able to smoke weed whenever I wanted.
And even though I listed being force fed alcohol as a con of my job, I have to say; being able to get drunk at work is definitely a pro, too–when I drink however much I want, at my own pace, of course. It’s okay if I’m drunk at work! It’s part of the job. If I got drunk at any other job, I’d probably be fired. 😉
Featured Image by Jon Tyson