Journal Entry #36

Friday
December 22, 2017
07:47p

Yesterday, I finished reading Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell when I woke up around 12p. I was a little disappointed in the ending but it was a pretty cute book. After I finished reading, I took a shower then, heated up some leftovers for dinner.

I wrote my Best Friends post that I posted yesterday. That took me a little while to type up. When I finished typing it, I started to do my makeup. Boyfriend started making his way home around that time, too. I almost finished my makeup when he did get home but I wasn’t quite ready. When I did finish we smoked a blunt & I found the photos from Unsplash to add to my post, revised & edited it, then posted it.

It was like 10:30p when we left the apartment & I got to work around 11p. It wasn’t so bad at work, there were customers there at least. I left a little past 2a because by that time the club was empty & I had a feeling no one else was going to come in & enjoy the view, lol. I didn’t have one sip of alcohol last night & to me, that’s an achievement! I’m gonna try not to drink tonight, too but it’s gonna be hard since it’s Friday & EVERYONE else will be drunk, trying to shove cocktails down my throat.

There’s this 18 year old girl who has a locker right behind mine. When I first met her like two months ago she was just the sweetest little thing…now, she’s all “I can’t wait to make enough money to get fake boobs” & “I took his business card, maybe he’ll be my sugar daddy.” It’s so sad to me. I’m not saying that I haven’t changed at all because of my job but I really don’t think I have…not in the way that it seems most other dancers do. They become more materialistic, greedy, & catty SO quickly. It’s just crazy for me to watch happen. I’ve watched it happen to way too many girls. I always try to be open-minded & not judge people for what they decide to do for money but she told me some things she planned to do…I was like “oh God” & I felt kind of bad for blurting out my disappointment like that but seriously…oh God. Of course, I said “whatever you wanna do though!” after I noticed her change in facial expressions, lol.

I prefer to do regular lap dances & have conversations for money in a nightclub setting. If I am going to go home with $0 one night, fine. I won’t do extra shit just to go home with a profit. I hate that I’m so judgmental & I sound like I think I’m superior to the girls who do do more shit…it’s just that I know dancers make more than enough money. The girls who can’t live off what they make either because they’re greedy or they’re just not that good at the job shouldn’t be dancers, in my opinion. They should be what they are: prostitutes. There are literally legal brothels an hour away from here! The only reason why they do dancing is because it’s easier for them since not everyone is giving the same treatment to the customers. They can say “I’ll suck your dick upstairs but so & so won’t.” or “I’ll give you my phone number & meet you in your hotel room but none of the other girls here will.” That guy will go back to his hotel or upstairs with the hoe so fast; he won’t care who she was or what she looks like. Whereas in a brothel or on a website; there are plenty of girls to choose from that will do anything you ask, so it’s not as easy for them to get customers! Does it make sense why I hate them?

Also, my locker neighbor is one of those possessive friends. I’ve always got along with her & we always chat a little when we see each other but last night, she was drunk & she was like “are you my bitch?” I laughed at her & said “of course!!” then, she was like “ok, love you.” I was polite enough to say, “love you too!” & then she looks at me with devious eyes & says, “just me, right??” AH! I cannot. I walked out the locker room quickly while nervously giggling. I’ve had two overly possessive dancer friends in the past already which is why I try not to associate with my colleagues so much–they’re terrifying, lol. I like to be nice to anyone & everyone around me if they’re nice to me & just ignore the ones who aren’t. I hate that the girls at my work act different towards me just because they see I get along with a girl they dislike…

Ok ok, I’m done. Sorry about the rant.

When I got home, I smoked a blunt with boyfriend & then ate some tuna. I read a chapter of the new book I’m starting. I forgot what it’s called but it’s by Matthew Quick. It’s my second book by him. I like it, I think it’s going to be interesting but it’s kind of weird because the narrator will sometimes ask me questions like, “What are you thinking, Reader?” & I think that’s awkward.

I woke up around 1130a to use the bathroom, I knew boyfriend had to wake up soon so I wasn’t able to fall back asleep. He needed to buy cat food & toilet paper for me before he left for work. I also added a rotisserie chicken to his list lol. He came & dropped everything off then he took a shower, got ready, & left. 😦

I went back to sleep until like 3p, I woke up & showered then came onto WP, replied to some comments & read some blog posts on my reader. I heated up the rotisserie chicken & made brown rice & the yummy tomato & fish sauce dip for it. I ate in front of the TV & watched a few episodes of this show on Netflix. I just finished editing my My Favorite Quotes From… for Luckiest Girl Alive & it is scheduled to post for tomorrow morning; 10a my time. 🙂

It’s 08:15p now so I’m gonna start getting ready for work. I can’t wait until boyfriend gets home. I hope it’s not too late (past 10p) when he does.

Happy Weekend, my loves! ❤ Hope you all have a good one!

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18 thoughts on “Journal Entry #36

  1. I completely agree with you. I know I stated that on another post of yours. It’s not fair to the dancers who are just dancers and not escorts/prostitutes on the side. Plus, dancing is much safer. Also, I hate when I hear girls say they want boob jobs. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but I have an A cup, so I sort of take offense to it. It’s like they’re saying that small boobs are not desirable. We get enough crap from men, no need to crap on other women. I know that’s not their intention. They just want to feel more confident. I used to hate that my boobs were small and I’ve been called “flat chested”, but I like my boobs now. So I do get a little upset when women say they want boob jobs because I want them to feel okay with the breasts they were born with also. All boob sizes are great, in my opinion. I”m not even gay, but I love boobs. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, I’m happy you agree with me. ❤ One of the escorts just told me the other night she would put up a profile on a website but she doesn't want her photo floating around the internet, so I guess I see where she is coming from. But still, it's not fair.
      I know, I take offense a little too. What is so bad about small boobs? The men have actually never told me that they don't like my small boobs, they thank me for having real ones…it's the other girls that make small boobs feel less desirable. :-/
      LOL I love boobs, too! They are great in all sizes!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t think you sound self entitled or stuck up for your thoughts! You know you make good money as a dancer, and you don’t have to lower yourself for a few extra bucks. It’s not fair that other girls do that. And it really does suck how the money will change people. I like that you’re still down to earth and you truly dance to dance and because it’s your job! It’s those other dancers who give strippers the bad name honestly.
    And the whole possessive friendship sounds like high school. You’re there to work, it sucks that there’s that much drama (although every work place has some, even a strip club lol).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw thank you, lol. I was like oh God, I sound close-minded? But it truly isn’t fair to us. I’m glad you can tell that I’m down to earth…I don’t want to be a Barbie. 😛 lol. Yeah. I agree. They are the reasons why strippers have a bad name.
      Oh gosh, I know. That’s why I have a hard time getting to know people at work. It’s so much drama! I really loved working in Sonic, there was never any drama but working at Aldi’s was pretty bad.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome haha. And nahh you don’t, you sound level headed. And oh gosh don’t be a Barbie :p be you! Haha. And it sounds like it.
        And I can definitely understand that! There’s drama at my work but at least I get along with everyone really well. And I remember you saying that!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I think it’s sad about the girl, lot of people become materialistic when they start earning a lot of money or will try and be deceitful to earn more.. Unfortunately, that happens in any job where people can make easy money. Of course, not everyone changes, a lot of people are much more humble that they won’t let their setting/surroundings change them. I find that admirable. If you can keep being your normal self regardless of the amount of money you earn, you’ve got my respect! Not saying people don’t change a bit, but you know what I mean. Shame for the girl..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah. It is sad about the girl…she is so sweet. Like she still loved Harry Styles two months ago now she’s all different.
      I think humbleness is admirable too. 💖 It’s a shame for all those people who can’t be humble, huh? 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That sucks, seeing people change so drastically and in such a short time span.. makes me sad for them, but at the same time I can’t bother to even pity them.. they kind of make those choices on their own.

        Liked by 1 person

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