My Timeline of Best Friends

Making and keeping friends has always been hard for me. I haven’t had a best friend for a few years now (unless my boyfriend counts!). I always think what it would be like if I had a best friend…would she come over while boyfriend went to work? Would she teach me new hairstyles? I could finally go shopping without someone moaning & groaning behind me! But, I always lose my best friends. I don’t know if it’s my fault…I need to look back and see where everything all went wrong.

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Photo by Andrea Tummons

The first best friend I remember having was a girl named Ursula in Kindergarten. On the first day of school, she moved over to sit next to me when we all gathered around the teacher, sitting pretzel-styled on the rug. My mom came to my whole first day of Kindergarten & she nodded with approval when I looked over at her after Ursula asked me if I would be her best friend. Our friendship didn’t even last the whole year. Ursula and her family moved to Hawaii.

The second best friend I remember having was Alise. She was my best friend all the way from Kindergarten to 3rd grade. My family was moving to a different city. I cried because I’d miss her & all of my other friends, I didn’t want to move away but it wasn’t my choice, obviously. I guess she remembered me too because she added me on FaceBook a couple of years ago. I accepted but I never messaged her & she never messaged me. It’s crazy that we could still connect so many years later & just remember each other but not say anything.

When I moved to Forest Lake, MN it was really hard for me to fit in. There were literally no other colored folk except for me and my family. I became best friends with this girl, Mia, because on the first day of 4th grade; our names were already written down on the desks, we had assigned seats which I always loved. Mine was right next to Mia. We became the best of friends. We were always partners for everything, we would write each other super long notes, & talk on the phone with each other for hours–it was like we never ran out of shit to tell each other, ever. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with friends outside of school so in the summer after 4th grade; Mia & I would talk on the phone but never see each other. In 5th grade, we weren’t put in the same class. She became best friends with Sheila. I desperately tried to keep our friendship by writing her notes still but I could tell she liked Sheila more, they were in the same class, & could hang out outside of school whenever they wanted.

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I became best friends with Kait. We were as close as Mia & I had been & it happened even quicker. Mia & I never hated each other or stopped considering each other “best friends” but it’s like we didn’t even know each other because we were in different classes. Kait was in a different class than mine, too, but our classes were connected to each other so really, we just had different teachers. Kait was my first friend that wasn’t a “goody-good,” she didn’t care about the rules. She had to switch schools because of it, her parents wanted her to go to some preparatory school. If I had been allowed to go over to my friends’ house–our friendship might’ve lasted longer but once she switched schools, it was the same as if she had moved to Hawaii. She told me that she started to cut herself & she was “emo” now. I didn’t really know what any of that meant. She told me not to mention to anyone that she cut herself…which I NEVER did (until now). A classmate asked me where she had went & I told them, “I don’t know, she’s emo now.” She called me and asked me why I told people she cut herself when she had asked me not to. I told her that I told people she was emo & I had no idea that was associated with cutting yourself but everyone else knew this fact, I guess? I truly think she never forgave me for that. She didn’t believe that I didn’t blurt her secret.

After I lost Kait, I tried to find my way back into Mia’s life. I found my way but I had to accept that it wasn’t just Mia as my best friend anymore…Sheila was a part of her & a part of “us” now. So we became a trio.

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Photo by Becca Tapert

There was a girl on my bus, Tia, who I hated in 4th & 5th grade but all of a sudden, she wasn’t so weird anymore in 6th grade. We started talking on the bus & we were even able to hang out outside of school because she lived so close. (My parents didn’t care if I was running around outside in our neighborhood but I was forbidden in anyone else’s house.) We would go on bike rides & to the playground. It seemed like there was always something we could do together. She became my best friend & just like Mia brought Sheila in–I brought Tia in. We were the 4 best friends! I loved them & they were REAL friends. We didn’t talk about each other when one of us wasn’t around, we included each other in everything & never tried to make anyone else in the group feel bad (which sadly was rare when I hung out in groups of girls). We were never in competition over school, boys, or looks. We rooted for each other, we were there for each other, & we were always together. Since I had been friends with Mia & Sheila for so long, my parents started to allow me over to Sheila’s house. We would have sleepovers; the four of us. I’ve never had real best friends like that ever again. We even kept in touch & planned get-togethers when I moved away after 6th grade ended. Sheila stopped having sleepovers for her birthday & that was our usual, for sure, annual hang out. I think our last one was during freshman year in High School. Mia parted ways from Sheila & Tia & it never seemed right to me to plan a separate meeting with Mia from Sheila & Tia. I hung out with Mia separately once, we went bowling & out to eat. Tia & Sheila came over to my place once & we went to the mall. I think we all felt it was too different & weird. Those were the last times I saw them.

I still love all of them so much but we don’t talk at all. We like each other’s tweets & FB posts but that’s about it. They probably don’t know this; but I will always have their back if they ever need me to.

My ex-best friend is K. I have mentioned her in my past blog posts plenty of times, she was who I moved in with in Washington. I know I already wrote the story about how that all happened. If you haven’t read that…to sum it up: my dad called the cops on me for having weed in my room & my boyfriend at the time was an abusive asshole (J) who had just snapped my glasses in half. I needed my best friend, K. We became best friends in 8th grade. She was dating this boy, Lou, he became one of my best friends first. At that age, she was threatened by me hanging out with him all the time. Lou even told me all the rude things she would say about me though she was his girlfriend & I was just his friend. We all hung out so often, K eventually became my best friend, too. Lou broke up with her & I took K’s side. I thought Lou was an extremely fucked up person. He was never nice & he is still not nice as an adult. Once, Lou & K broke up…K was all mine! We spent every waking hour together, experienced everything together. I practically lived at her house before I ever did move in with her. I couldn’t believe when her family was moving to Washington when junior year started. I didn’t know what I was going to do…I held onto J like he was my life jacket. I had no one else & how did I forget how to make friends? When my life fell completely apart, I knew she would be there to save me & she was. I lived with her & her family hundreds of miles away from my own. I didn’t even feel like I belonged in my family anymore…I belonged in theirs.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

When K’s mom would help me with my homework, K would take pictures of us & post “my mom likes her more than me” as her caption. When I first got there, K’s mom would kiss us both on the forehead before bed. She stopped giving me kisses & telling me that she loved me…at least in front of K. When K wasn’t around, her mom would talk to me like I was her best friend. One day, K’s mom brought me into her room & explained to me that K was jealous of me & that she wasn’t used to having a “sister.” K’s mom said she did love me & that she wanted to be there for me but at the same time, she didn’t want K to feel like our relationship was stronger or threatening to theirs. (It definitely never was since she bred K but K saw it differently, she didn’t want to share her mom with me. She knew I barely had a mom & she thought I was trying to steal hers even though she was the one who invited me to stay.)

I should’ve known from the beginning that K wasn’t a real friend. She was always jealous of me about absolutely everything. The only time she wasn’t trying to be better than me was when I showed her my weak side…when I was broken, crying, or drugged up. All K wants to do is fix broken people…she lives off people needing her. I stopped needing her & she stopped being my best friend.

She stole weed & money from her friends in Washington & she would tell them it was me. She threw me under the bus all the time with her parents. She never had my back–she always wanted me to get into trouble. I would try to meet all her new friends but she always “warned” them about me before we met, she would tell them I’m extremely judgmental & I don’t hold my tongue…that I think I’m better than everyone else & I’m always rude. All of her new friends always seemed so weary & weird around me. Her last girlfriend that I had the pleasure of meeting wasn’t weird around me, though, & she was the one who told me what K had told her about me before we met. She said, I was not the way K said I would be at all.

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Photo by Bewakoof.com Official

A lightbulb went off in my head when her ex-gf told me this…K had given all of her friends this info about me before they met me & she had been doing it since High School! That’s why no one ever seemed to like me, I started to think it was my fault. Then, I realized K told all of her friends this because she didn’t want her new friends to meet me & get along with me better. She wanted them to hate me. She didn’t want me to become friends with any of her new friends–either because she feared that we’d become better friends or because she worried she wouldn’t have someone to talk bad about me to anymore.

Ever since her ex-gf told me the shit she lied about me to everyone…I stopped considering K my best friend. I’d respond to her text messages halfheartedly unless it was about her son or family (whom I still love). Eventually, I’d just ignore all of her texts saying “I can’t believe so & so does this & that” or “so & so doesn’t do this but I do so I’m the best” (just kidding about the second one, kind of…like she really does say shit like that but in different words.) She told me one of her other best friends is extremely depressed & is talking to a professional to make it better. I didn’t respond because if that was me; I’d hate her for telling everyone about my situation. I knew if it was me that everyone that ever talked to K would know that I was in trouble. I don’t want a best friend like that.

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Photo by Brooke Cagle

She’ll not to talk to me for months then one day she’ll text me & ask me how is everything going. If I tell her that I’m happy & things are well, she responds every half hour or takes even longer than that…she’ll try to ask about things she knows will bother me but I brush them off & try to prove I’m un-bothered. She won’t talk about her life & our conversation dies out quickly. Now, if she texts me & I say “oh life is just shit. Here’s why:…” she is all ears & responds within seconds. She then talks all about her life & how things are going GREAT. When I’m already feeling down on myself…she uses it as a platform to brag about her life because she knows that her life will seem glorious compared to mine when I’m feeling that way.

I should’ve known she was never my best friend. Best friends don’t try their hardest to make you feel bad. I should’ve never felt like I needed to prove something to her, ever, but every time I talk to her…that’s how she makes me feel. That is not what a best friend is. A best friend doesn’t make you wonder if they really are your best friend. A best friend doesn’t judge you or talk bad about you. You shouldn’t have to re-write your texts to your best friend, you shouldn’t be afraid to say anything at all to her or him. My only best friend is my boyfriend & I don’t think I could ever find a better one.

There were others who I considered my “best” friend for short periods of time throughout the years, too, but none of them lasted for that long. I’ll always remember this boy who was in my sister’s grade though; he fought J once because he saw him push me. I was his best friend because he smoked weed with me behind his real friends’ backs (including my sister). He never really acted the same around me after he fought with J though, understandably.

P.S. All names have been changed.newproject_1_original_tujmsfcs2r2


Featured Image by Clarisse Meyer

48 thoughts on “My Timeline of Best Friends

  1. I’ve spent most of my life feeling like the side kick in other people’s more dramatic lives. Sometimes I thought it was because I was a boring bookworm (I don’t think reading makes people boring but that’s the culture we live in) and sometimes because I thought they really needed therapy. I don’t think I had friendships where other people found me as interesting as I found them until I moved to China.

    Yes, I think you should count your boyfriend as your best friend. That’s what makes the most enduring romantic relationships. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a friend on the side for stuff women like doing together, but for me love = lust + friendship.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lol at “and sometimes because I thought they really needed therapy”!
      I haven’t found anyone I’m interested in enough to become friends with, maybe I should go to China lol. 😛 I think my ex-best friend K was too interested in my life, maybe?
      Boyfriend is my best friend but people always say you should have friends, too lol. I don’t even know if I want any?
      I 100% agree with your equation!!

      Like

  2. Wow, those were all really interesting stories! I totally understand the feeling of friends coming and going, usually in painful ways. I definitely think K was a toxic person as well, and I’m glad you moved on from her! Finding a boyfriend who is also your best friend is really special. I don’t know if I could’ve gotten through half the shit I went through in the past 2 years without mine! Really loved this post!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw, yay! I’m so happy that you thought they were interesting. 😀
      Ah, thank you. I’m glad you thought she was toxic, too. I would sometimes feel like I was the bad friend when I never ever did anything to hurt her, not even behind her back like she did/does to me. She still texts me sometimes & I respond sometimes so I haven’t completely just cut her off but I’ve been thinking about like deleting her off social media & confronting her for everything but I don’t want the drama. I don’t even want to waste my time on her anymore.
      Aww, it’s so good to hear that you had your boyfriend to help you through the past 2 years, I’d prob be dead if it weren’t for mine, lol. Boyfriends can be best friends, too!! ❤
      Thank you for reading!! I'm so so glad you loved it! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. K sounds like an insecure human being who needs to love herself more. Nobody who truly loves themselves would be so jealous of others and want to tear them down. It’s pathetic and sad. I’m glad you realized who she really was before it was too late. I’ve had friends who I thought were real on many occasions and ended up with my heart broken. It sucks. And girls are hard to be friends with because they’re so catty and petty. I actually don’t really have friends fr and I’m glad about it. Less friends, less drama. Haha. Great post.

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    1. I really hope one day she learns to love herself. I think you’re right about her. She is insecure. Yeah, I never really cut her off but I stopped telling her about any secrets, feelings, & such.
      I’m so sorry you had to deal with fake friends that left you heart broken. :/ I just don’t understand friendships…how do they just end so easily?
      I have no friends either & you know, I’m not sure if I want any. 😛 Less drama is always better. lol.
      Thank you so much for reading. ❤ I'm happy you enjoyed it!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The feeling that it was something I’d done resonates so profoundly within me as well regarding some high school friends who I was really close with for over 3 years. I’m talking weekly sleepovers, crying into each other’s arms, group projects, and more, and then something changed in grade 12 and they just started ignoring me, avoiding me, and to this day (literally like 8 years later) I still have no idea what happened. I’ve always considered asking, but I don’t know if I could handle the answer.

    What I can tell you, based on what you’ve shared, is that you’ve done NOTHING wrong. You’ve just had some really bad luck 😢 I wish you the best in finding your friend soul mate. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh wow, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I wouldn’t know if I should ask either. At that age, I would probably just act like I didn’t care even if I did. You were too good for them, that’s what happened. ❤
      Thank you so much for your kind words & for reading my post. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t have a best friend either (not offline, anyway), and I can relate to some of your stories. I’ve had similar experiences with “best friends”… many of whom were never really friends at all. Of course, I didn’t see that at the time!

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  6. I don’t have any friends anymore.. After high school, everyone sort of moved on, a lot of them moved out of town or out of state, many of them changed their lifestyles drastically, some got married, some got pregnant and had kids, etc. All my friends come and go, none of them really lasted more than four years to be honest. I used to always think it was something I did but I realized that a lot of people tend to make up their own ideas of me, despite how good of a friend I was to them. All they remember is when you’ve done something wrong by accident or without intention, or perhaps there was a misunderstanding and that’s when everything changed.. idk.. I have had a few friends who have been friends with me for over 7 years, but they all live in different states.. one in florida, and the other in california.. of course they’re guys, so that doesn’t really count.. i do wish i had a girlfriend to go out and hang out with and stuff, but all the girls that have come along have changed drastically and end up moving on without saying a word, i’ve mentioned this in another comment on another one of your posts, but there was a girl in particular who i was friends with, but she started hanging out with a few other girls from beauty school and i distinctly felt how different she was with me (scorpios are very intuitive, and people can’t bullshit us), so i felt like she kept me around for when there was drama with the girls she hung out with, and i decided, fuck that, i’m not a back-up friend, so i cut her out of my life.. to this day, i still have friends who follow me on facebook or instagram and we like each other’s posts too but hardly talk..in fact, one of them is here in oregon right now, i’m literally right across the “street”, we live in a cul-de-sac, she’s been here since thursday, and i actually didn’t know that until yesterday, she hasn’t said a word to me through FB, her mom was the one who told us she was here.. go figure…when people can’t bother to tell you they’re in town and will make up excuses about how busy they are, then you know they’re not your friends anymore, they’re just pretend friends.
    anyway, wow, i sure went all out in this comment MY BAD LOLOLOLOLOL
    soo.. even though it seems friendships have come and go for the both us, know that even though i’m miles away from you, i consider you a friend and would actually love to meet you in person sometime in the future 🙂 you’re definitely an online bestie 🙂 ❤ lol

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    1. I had two friends drop me and block me because of a misunderstanding. There was a facebook status that the one friend thought was about her but it wasn’t. The other friend (who happened to be her bff before she ever met me) took her side and stopped talking to me too. I even tried explaining, but they weren’t having it. I decided I was better off anyways then because I don’t need people in my life who would diss me over something so stupid.

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      1. Sounds like what happened to me with some friends of mine, they ended up taking sides, or they blow things out of proportion. It’s hard being friends with girls, yet I’m a girl lol.
        But yes, I’m with you. It totally sucks though, especially for me, because I get so hung up on people that start acting different towards me with no explanation, I mean, we’re not in high school anymore but people still act like it. I swear, at times it feels lonely because I got no friends to hang out with, but when some of them come around, I realize exactly why I don’t have friends; we have nothing in common, people like drama, or they’re very dishonest. But it’s always best to distance yourself from negative people, the older you get, the smaller your circle gets, I learned that the hard way.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Yeah, it does seem like girls will never stop acting like they’re in HS. They always want to have a hierarchy. I wanna have a friendship where we are all on the same level.
          I’m with you! Sometimes I get lonely & wonder what it would be like to have girl friends but like you, I never wanna talk shit about other people & that’s what other girls mostly love to do.
          I agree. I think it’s okay to have a small circle but I have NO circle lol. Is that okay too?

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Right?! like why is that so fucking hard to do? Lol. Just be nice to each other but girls always find something that they don’t like about you and hate you for it like wtf lol.
            Well, in that case I have no circle lol. Sure I have acquaintances but not actually friends who come around to hang out lol. I think that’s why Alex and I are so close. He’s always liked being alone, he doesn’t like people very much because a lot of people can’t hold a deep conversation. I think he was surprised with me when I did, idk. Lol. But we both agree that most people are boring and too self centered and egocentric to be around everyone. Like, we feel lonely in a room full of people and it feels like we don’t belong, because we don’t. Which is why we stay away from people, and keep to ourselves. We’re happy with each other. We don’t really need anyone else, but I will admit that it would be nice to hang out with people who thought like us lol.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Hahah yeah, that’s so true. Girls always find a reason to talk bad about you. Always.
              I def think the same way as you and Alex. My boyfriend likes people a little more than I do but he prefers to be at home most of the time too. Sometimes he gets along with the people we’re out with so much though that I’m only one alone. I never can get along with anyone that well.

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              1. I think the older you get, the harder it is to make friends because everyone already has their own personality, and responsibilities and preferences. LOL. Sure there’s an individual or two who seems cool, but a lot of people also put up a front and then you see their true colors and that’s when you’re like “NOPE” lol. I tend to be more intuitive than most people, so I know when people have some kind of problem with me before they do. I see it in their body language and the way they speak to me vs when they speak to another. Some people use their words very carefully. I can tell when someone is being honest and open or when they’re guarding themselves.

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                1. Hahah, oh my gosh, that’s too true. After they show their true colors I’m like “oooohh..no.” lol. I think I am intuitive too, but I never trust myself. I’m always like “nah I’m paranoid” but usually I end up being right.

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    2. Yeah, I don’t do well as a back-up friend either. There’s this girl I used to work with who will randomly post “I miss my best friend” & tag me on FB but I know it’s because she’s feeling left out from her real friends. She never calls me or messages me. She just wants to let her other friends know that she does have someone else. I guess I encourage it because I always comment & tell her I miss her, too but we never ever talk…& we haven’t since I left the club she works at. Even when I still lived in the same state.
      People re-locating is such a huge reason why friendships fall apart..it’s sad.
      I can’t believe your “friend” is right across the street & hasn’t even messaged you on FB…what the hell? If you see her around & she says hi, you should act like you don’t remember her. HAHAH.
      Awww! I think we’d get along in real life, too, Rossy. ❤ Maybe one day we will get to meet!! 🙂 You're def one of my online besties too! ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, sounds a lot like one of my friends..would always come back to me when things with the other girls didn’t work out. One thing that stuck with me for a long time was when she had drama with another girl, and she told me, and I quote “they’re so dramatic and bitchy, I’m just gonna stick to Rossy”.. when she said that I sort of chuckled but when I thought back, I realized it would never be the same…
        actually, yesterday we were on our way out, she was outside with her daughters and fiancé, and one of her daughters was in my driveway and I said “hi” in a cheerful voice to her daughter, then she called her over, and I put Ciel in his car seat, when I closed the door, she had gone back inside.. honestly, it bothered me because she’s clearly avoiding me, and it sucked more because she said we were family, and I don’t ever call anyone family unless I mean it, because I will do anything for them, and when we were friends I did.. I realized that she probably saw something in me that she didn’t like about herself and decided to distance herself from me because truth hurts.. it’s not my problem to figure out why she’s holding such a grudge, I know I never said anything wrong or have done anything wrong, but in her eyes, I have and it’s not my place to tell her otherwise.. I’ve made my peace with her and if she still wants to act like I did something wrong, then all I can say is, she’s miss8g out on me. I stood by her all throughout high school, I went against other people because of her, I stood up against her exes for her and confronted them, and this is how she relays me.. I swear, people have taken advantage of my kindness which is one of the reasons I just don’t have any friends anymore.,
        I will have to make plans to go to Las Vegas. I believe Alex has family outside the city, he doesn’t really talk to them much but we can just get a hotel elsewhere lol. I want to travel and see the world anyway lol.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh my gosh…wow. I can’t believe she would just call her daughter away from you like that. It is probably something she made up in her own head about you. It would be so hard for me, if I were you, to not confront her but I totally understand why you haven’t. You are 100x more mature than she could ever be.
          Yeah I want to visit Oregon one day, too. So I think we will def meet somewhere in the future. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Well…I’m not too bothered by it. I went over it many times in my head trying to figure something out because I KNOW I haven’t done anything to her or said anything. I concluded that she’s holding a grudge of some kind and that’s fine by me because I already said my peace to her and she supposedly did too. (CLEARLY she didn’t). But that’s her problem and not mine, if she wants to come around good, if not, well then, I guess we’re not true friends anymore. We’re the furthest thing from “family” now anyway..
            The only reason why I haven’t said anything to her is because I don’t think it’s worth confronting. I mean, we’re older, we both have kids and have lives that need looking after…And on top of that, like I mentioned above, she’s the one who’s holding the grudge. It hurts her more than it does me. I no longer have the energy to actively hate people or hold grudges against them regardless of what they might have done. There’s no fucking way I’m starting the new year with negativity or people who don’t want me around in the first place.
            I mentioned the idea of going to Vegas to Alex and he looked sour haha. He said there’s nothing to do there, unless you go party and gamble. Which would be hard for us to do with a kid. But he’s right. I have no idea what we would even do over there with our munchkin, LOL. Perhaps wait until he gets older maybe and make it a day trip. Who knows.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Yeah, you’re right. You definitely don’t need someone like her in your life! I’m happy to hear that you don’t let it bother you!
              Oh, kids are all over the place, lol. But I did come here as a child and my dad dragged me around–I hated it lol. I totally understand why Alex went sour about it. Haha. 😛

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  7. I’ve had toxic friends as well. I wish you would cut her off. I’m not even sure confronting her would do any good. Then she will be telling people that you are such a bitch and guess what you did to her… It’s hard to move when you have friends and it’s hard to watch them move. I’ve lost plenty of friends that way.
    Facebook is weird because I have friends from junior high on there but only online and we live in the same city! So I don’t really have any friends here anymore. I have friends that I talk to in other cities but here? They can’t even make the time to plan a get together.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I doubt I’ll ever confront her. I love her parents & I don’t want them to cut me off if I cut her off completely or actually tell her how I feel about her.
      Yeah, it sucks but re-locating/distance is always the biggest reason why friendships fall apart. It’s sad…
      How are things with your best friend, Julie? Has she fully forgiven you for that dating ad you made for her as a joke?

      Liked by 1 person

  8. You’ve definitely had quite the time line, but honestly if I made my own post, I may have a similar total. It sucks how moving pulls you away from those friends you worked so hard to make. Nowadays, I don’t really have anyone around. My closest friend is my bff who lives in Connecticut, but it’s not the same as when she was here. We can’t just hang out whenever. I actually haven’t seen her in two years – which sucks. But at least she keeps in touch often. My other best friend had her baby and kind of fell off the face of the Earth. We briefly talked on Facebook the other day, but she basically said that she thought of me often but she couldn’t promise to keep in touch. Things change, and it’s funny how we don’t realize that a last time is the last time until its long gone.
    I really am sorry it took you so long to learn the truth about K. She truly wasn’t a good friend if she was that manipulative, and I’m glad you learned the truth and cut that toxic relationship out. I hope you still find a real best friend someday, your boyfriend yes, but someone who’s more like your sister from another family. It’s just rare these days, and really hard to find

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    1. Yeah, moving away from your friends suck but it’s inevitable! 😛
      That girl with the baby is kind of weird lol. She can’t promise to keep in touch? Okkkaaayy…
      Yeah actually you helped me realize that K was toxic, I think we talked about her before & how my bf has never liked her. He always thought she was toxic to me.
      Yeah I love my bf but he hates shopping! hahaha

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadly! Haha
        I mean she and I have been best friends for years and then she had the baby and disconnected from everyone. I get that she’s a new mom, but maybe we’re just at two way different stages in life right now. I just can’t really say she’s like a sister to me anymore, and I do miss her.
        I do remember that conversation with you! It’s hard when you don’t see it from the outside perspective – you want to believe this person. You’re better off without her now and I’m glad you realize that 💜
        And most guys hate shopping hahah. That’s where you need a girl BFF 😂

        Like

        1. Yeah. Sometimes when people have kids they feel like people without kids can’t be their friends. 😛 Or that they no longer have things in common with non-moms lol.
          Thank you for helping me realize that! ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  9. I appreciate this post so much Hunida because I have gone through this same ordeal throughout my mid to late twenties and I always thought it was just me not having the patience to deal with other people.

    Let me explain: I had a K in my life. We’d known each other since I was 12 and were inseparable. I moved away from Florida twice and that’s when our friendship changed; or better yet, I grew and noticed it changed. I noticed she took pleasure when I was down and was ALWAYS there for me as long as my I was struggling. The moment I started to glow up, she couldn’t handle it and would half-heartedly invite me around her other friends. When it would be the 3 or 4 of us, they all would bring up inside jokes and relive moments that they all shared together and didn’t bother bringing me up to speed. When I would arrive, I would receive, “Hello, Stranger,” from everyone (including her). I wasn’t estranged, because she called me to watch her son and I was always available to watch him, I was just busy. I had just opened my clothing store and that was my life’s dream. I was busy building my brand. She knew that. They knew that. But jealously prevailed and they wanted me to feel purposefully uncomfortable as though I had somehow abandoned my friendship.

    On the other hand, I have two friends who I’m really close with also. Not only did they support my store opening, they purchased items, they shared my posts on social media, they really wanted to see me win. Because I am constantly strained for time, I realized I needed to reevaluate where and with whom I was exerting energy.

    There was one last meeting with (my) K that finally gave me the strength to let what I thought was a best friend fade to black. She asked me to lunch because she “missed me” and spent the entire meal whining about how she has no one to watch her son. I volunteered to watch him, of course. As I began to fill her in on what I was going through (I was closing my clothing store at the time), she wasn’t even listening. She was watching the television behind me. I literally stopped mid-sentence and she didn’t even notice. That was the last conversation we ever had.

    Now that I’m a bit older and I understand people and relationships and (most importantly) myself more, I realize things are constantly in flux and it’s okay if all of your friends don’t make it to the end. It’s also okay to have different levels of friendship. One friend can be for going to get your nails done and discussing fashion, but that’s it. She won’t be there for you in the capacity you need her to be to give you solace for your grandmother dying of cancer… and that’s okay. You may have another friend with whom you ONLY discuss serious things with because she gives great advice and those sorts of conversations feed both of your souls.

    My closest girlfriends and I don’t see or speak to each other often. We actually schedule time at least twice a year to see each other because we are each so busy.

    I find that spending time alone has been great for me. I thrust myself into new situations and actually meet new people with like interests along the way. It’s difficult to meet new people and develop friendships but certainly not impossible.

    Shoutout to all the broken hearts that keep beating anyway.

    ❤️💔❤️,
    Dom
    http://www.DivaNamedDom.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh wow, thank you for reading my story and sharing yours with me.

      Like you, I always worried that it was me that didn’t have the patience or time to keep friends around but I learned as I grew up.
      Your K sounds the most like my K. I’m happy you don’t talk to her anymore! I can’t believe she just ignored you like that. She obviously didn’t care about any of your accomplishments because she was jealous of them. She let her jealousy take over your friendship. I hate that. I’m sorry that you had to put up with such a gal but I’m happy to hear you have two real, amazing, and supportive girl friends!

      I wouldn’t mind having a friend to get my nails done with and go shopping with but I can’t even seem to find one of those.

      💖💖💖

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha, it’s tough at times because I really do like enjoying girly things like that with other people. Every now and then, I’ll go shopping with some of my co-worker friends but I realize halfway through that I’d rather be shopping alone. I’m insatiable.

        Yeah, (my) K is missed because we had s lot of fun together but I know that we both are doing what makes us both happy. I’d rather be alone and complete than in fake friendships where I have to watch my back all of the time.

        Let’s both commit to being open and putting ourselves out there in 2018 so we can meet new people!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yes, I can only stand my co-workers for short conversations. I wouldn’t be able to go shopping with them lol.
          At times I miss my K too, we had all the fun but exactly, I would rather be alone and complete than in fake friendships!!
          I’ll try to commit to that but I can’t make any promises lol! ❤ ❤

          Like

  10. It’s good that you have got rid of all those toxic people in your life. I often think that we meet people for a reason like we were meant to learn something from them or teach them something. The important thing is to just learn and grow from your experiences

    Liked by 2 people

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