My Unfaithful Relationships

The summer after 6th grade ended, I knew I was moving. I had a boyfriend (the boy who I had my first kiss with) but I didn’t really care anymore. There were a few boys I had small crushes on. On the last day of school, I kissed them all ON THE CHEEK. Of course, word got around to my boyfriend and he dumped me. Everyone told him I “cheated” on him.

box office.jpg
Photo by Connor Limbocker

That same summer I went to the movies with a bunch of “couples.” I was “going out” with someone else now, but throughout our whole “relationship” all we did was talk on the phone every night. He couldn’t make it to the movies and it was one of my last nights in that town. There was another boy who had been messaging me on AIM a lot. Right before I headed out to the movies, he IMed me saying he wanted to sit by me and not his girlfriend who was going to be there. I told him to take the spot by the wall and I’d sit by him so there’d be nothing she could do. I somehow thought this was such a cute conversation because I remember having saved it and reading it over and over again.

When we got to the movies, we went through with my plan. He moved next to the wall right when the movie started so she couldn’t object. She was probably wondering why the hell she wasn’t sitting by her boyfriend but she never got up or said anything. She was sitting at the end of the row and I was sitting by her boyfriend at the other end. I couldn’t focus on the movie because he grabbed my hand. He held it throughout the whole movie. When it ended, I kissed him. He barely got a chance to kiss back, it was so quick. He IMed me later that day and said he wanted a chance to kiss me again so he could actually kiss me back but, we never did get to see each other again.

I did e-mail my then-boyfriend about the movie incident but he said it was fine and we continued to talk on the phone every night for a few more weeks until I realized we had to break up because we’d never see each other.

hands
Photo by Ryan Holloway

Those were my first and definitely most innocent unfaithful relationships.

My ex, J, and I never had a faithful relationship. We were together throughout all of High School. He cheated on me once and I never stopped getting him back for it. I didn’t feel like our relationship was a faithful one anymore after he cheated on me. We were always “a thing” but if I got along well with someone else, I’d have sex with them if I wanted to though I always told them not to tell J. They never would but I would always keep their names and stories in my little pocket for when J did piss me off, he always found a way, and I’d scream “that’s why I fucked so and so” and I felt even with him. Like, if he fucked me over and abused me it was fine because I had my way of hurting him back.

The first time I already wrote about: it’s the second story in my Physical Altercations I’ve Gotten Myself Into post.

The second time, I was at K’s house and we invited her neighbor who sold weed. We hung out with him often but I wasn’t interested in him. The night we invited him over, he had two friends with him. One kid that went to my school and was one of J’s best friends. He was definitely someone I wanted…the other one wasn’t so bad either, but I didn’t know him.

bonfire
Photo by Luke Ellis-Craven

I was highly intoxicated–I was wild. We were having a bonfire in K’s backyard, I asked J’s best friend, we’ll call him N, to fuck me. Yes, I straight up asked if he would fuck me. He kept saying “no” and “another time” even though, before he came over he was texting me saying that he would. The cute friend I didn’t know, T, was questioning why N didn’t want to do it. I looked at T with my seductive eyes and I said “oh fuck N, how about you!!?” he agreed with me and we went off to a hidden part of the backyard. N told me later that he would do it with me when I wasn’t intoxicated. I tried to check him off at the top of my HS Fuck List but he ended up being one of my last.

I continued to cheat on J whenever the opportunity presented itself. He would hate me for a few days after I told him then we’d get back together. All the stories are kind of similar with all of the HS guys. It would turn this post into a novel if I wrote them all out.

When I moved to Washington State, my junior year, I told every boy I messed around with that I had a boyfriend in Minnesota. One guy had a girlfriend. I have a whole post about that story though, so I’ll save it for then. 😉

seattle.jpg
Photo by Michael Discenza

At the end of my relationship with J, I would say I had been faithful to him for maybe a whole year. I cheated on him with the DJ that worked at the first strip club I worked at. I let him finger me in the DJ booth after I had taken some molly from some customers.

I hadn’t broken up with J yet but I was hanging out with the DJ. I passed by SexWorld where I also worked at the time, my co-workers were leaving and one girl shouted “is that your boyfriend?!” and I kinda ducked down and shook my head “no.”

dj
Photo by Marcela Laskoski

DJ and I hung out a few times, I’d go to his house when our shift ended. He also had a girlfriend though. I never wanted him to be my boyfriend so I was totally fine with it. It was just weird when he’d be fucking me and I’d see her shoes and other belongings in every corner of his room.

He quit working at my club and I switched clubs, too. He came to see me one night at my new club when he was extremely drunk. He told me he loved me. He called me on the phone after he left the club and he kept saying that he wanted me to be his. I stopped responding to him after that night. He still hadn’t even broken up with his girlfriend.

The doorman at the new club I was working at was married. All the girls knew this but it didn’t stop any of us from trying to get in his pants. I heard all kinds of rumors of him sleeping with the dancers anyways, it didn’t seem like he cared that he was married.

driving
Photo by why kei

He noticed that I took Ubers home, so he took this as a chance to ask me if I needed a ride home one night. I accepted the ride and he didn’t make any moves on me. I thought he just needed extra money or something so he offered me a ride for a tip. He didn’t accept the tip though. He drove me home a few times without making any moves on me. I truthfully don’t remember what happened, but one night I guess I invited him in and I let him have sex with me.

His wife called him when he was at my house, he put her on speaker and I listened to her cry. She knew he was cheating on her.

He drove me home almost every night I worked for a month or two. Maybe three?

I stopped going to work for a week because I met my current boyfriend in the mist of it all. I was avoiding the doorman because I wanted to spend all of my time with boyfriend. Doorman repeatedly texted me, saying he needed me to come to work. He let me know he was separating with his wife. I think he thought that would make me come back. Then, he went for the “I’ll find another dancer. I didn’t care. When I went back to work a WEEK later, he was already fucking the other dancer he chose. He didn’t leave me alone for the longest time, trying to mend things between us but boyfriend won my heart, it was his. I have been faithful to boyfriend ever since he asked me to be his girlfriend.

love
Photo by Mahkeo

Oh, and somewhere in all of that, I had a one night stand with this 30 year old who brought me to his town home and said he had roommates when I saw baby shoes on the welcome mat. I never talked to him again. I obviously wasn’t someone who cared about the other woman but he was awkward and I didn’t like him. Why couldn’t he be honest? I know he didn’t have a roommate.

newproject_1_original_tujmsfcs2r2


Featured Image by Alejandra Quiroz

25 thoughts on “My Unfaithful Relationships

  1. You’ve definitely been through the mill with sucky guys! Your past relationship with J being the worst. I’m glad you got out of that situation, it was toxic. When you’re just constantly out to get each other – that’s not a relationship. I’m happy you’ve been faithful since your current boyfriend, and that he won your heart and he treats you well 🙂 you needed a nice guy after all of that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, the relationship with J sounds like it was very toxic and unhealthy. Definitely not good to cheat on each other and use it to get back at them for revenge. (I’m pretty vengeful too though, so I can understand that). But if you have to do that to get even, then he’s not for you. Of course you were in high school, so it’s definitely a learning process. I wish I knew now what I didn’t know back then. lol I’m glad you’ve been faithful to your current boyfriend. I think that if you truly love someone, you won’t cheat on them. If there is cheating, then you should leave the relationship. My ex had been cheating on me for years, apparently. I wish he would have just broken up with me if he wasn’t happy. I’ve never cheated, but I also consider myself demisexual, so I don’t feel that sexual attraction urge to act on unless I actually know someone really well first and like their personality.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, our relationship sucked. High school me was the worst. I can’t believe I behaved the way I did!
      I’m sorry you were with that cheating asshole, he didn’t deserve you at all. Men always think they can have their cakes & eat it, too.
      I’ve never heard the term demisexual but I think I get what it means. I don’t think that’s so bad to feel that way, it may be a good thing even. For me…besides my bf, the more I learned about the other men, the less I wanted to have sex with them. Lol.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well I’m glad you’re finally out of that unhealthy relationship with J. It’s so weird that we make such bad choices when we’re young, like all the warning signs are there, but we either chose to ignore or deny it. But I’m glad you found your boyfriend and are happy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so true. “All the warning signs are there but we either chose to ignore or deny it.” It’s because our frontal lobes aren’t developed or something like that haha.
      I’m glad I found my boyfriend now too! 💗 Thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I guess….I always thought girls developed quicker because we tend to think a bit more logically than boys.. Of course, in your teens, that could cloud our judgement lol.
        I do remember thinking and/or realizing one of my relationships wasn’t healthy and that I shouldn’t be in it, but I sort of fell for his words and doomed myself into that awful relationship LOL.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s