Please, Don’t Bring Your Lady To The Strip Club

The number one reason I can give you to not bring your girlfriend or wife to the strip club is because the dancers will treat you like a contagious-by-touch case of AIDS, and aren’t you there because you want our attention? (If you aren’t…you AND your wife can leave.) We really don’t want your lady there while your wandering eyes are all over our bodies and we can see on your wife’s face how much she hates it and how she really doesn’t want to be there either. If she IS having a good time and not acting like she’s better than each and every one of us, when we run out of single men (obviously because they need us more than you do since you have so and so with you) to pursue we WILL eventually get to you, especially if YOU approach us first. If you really believe your lady wants to be there then fine, I’d truly love to meet her. 😉

I’ve had plenty of wonderful experiences dancing for couples and for women while their s/o watched and there have been some really cool ladies who have even enjoyed watching me dance for their man (and not as some kind of “test” for him either–which happens a lot, too).

But, working 3 years as a dancer I’ve met some horribly scary wives, girlfriends, even sisters that I wish I never had had to.

Lady #1

Lady #1 grabbed my arm, rather roughly, and I looked down at her since she was sitting down. I was prancing around in my 8-inch-stilettos, I had to bend down to hear what she was saying. I don’t have all the balance in the world bent over this way so when she pulled me and then, pushed me onto her husband’s lap, I easily fell on top of him–she kept saying that he wanted my attention and a lap dance from me–I could easily tell she was heavily intoxicated. When I fell onto him, he said “please don’t, she will kill me afterwards.” She kept petting my hair, arms, and face. She said to me, “ohh, honey, you are so beautiful, he is just pretending, he does want you!!!” the man was trying his hardest to look the other way but, since I was having the worst night of my life, I kept interrupting her and asking if I could just do a dance for her instead and she kept saying the same shit over and over about how her husband really wanted a dance from me and she would NOT stop PETTING ME…so I pushed her hands away and walked (or maybe, I kind of ran) to the dressing rooms. As I got up she was still shouting about how I needed to dance for her husband. She would’ve killed us both if I did, I could see it in her eyes…not to mention, she made me look like a bitch to everyone else the way she called after me. UGH!!!

Lady #2

There were two guys with super drunk Lady #2. She was standing up, dancing with a drink in one hand, behind them as they sat front row at the tip rail. (Annoying.) When she went to the restroom, I was making my way around to the people who tipped me well while I was on stage to see if they wanted a lap dance. The two in the front waved me over and I hesitated a little because I recalled that there was a woman in their party and I had to be very aware of myself in case one of them was her s/o. One guy was her husband but, the other one was her brother. I loosened up a bit because a brother is not off-limits at all. They clearly stated that hubs wasn’t doing dances because his wife is crazy. GREAT. It didn’t matter anyways though because the brother was the one who wanted a dance from me. He needed to use the restroom before we headed upstairs to the VIP room so I waited for him to finish up and as he comes out the men’s restroom, his sister comes out of the women’s restroom, too. She stops him and she asks him where he’s going, he tells her that him and I are going for a dance…he needs to hit up the ATM first though so his sister and I have a chance to chat. When he walks to the ATM, she grabs me by the arm, pulls me aside, and glares deep into my soul and says “that’s my little brother, you better treat him well. Don’t even think about hurting him. He’s my everything.” etc. etc. I tell her that he’d be back in 3 songs and not to worry, I wasn’t going to be his girlfriend afterwards or anything like that. When he came back from the ATM she changed her demeanor completely and playfully pushed us ahead, I turned around to reassure her that he’d be fine and she was like “oh oh oh, just go” cutting me off so I wouldn’t expose her over-protectiveness of him, to him. As she was trying to intimidate me, I kept telling her that her husband was looking for her to get her off my back and she kept saying that she was more worried about her brother and that she trusted her husband more than him.

Well, guess what? The next week or so I see these two bozos at the same two spots in the front row at the tip rail. I go up to the brother and prove that I remember him from last time, they’re always pleasantly surprised when we remember them and hey, so are we. 🙂 I gained brownie points and I knew I was in for a dance with the brother again but, I had to talk with them a bit; because we had met before, it’s kind of rude to just get into dancing without catching up first…I guess. (Stripper Etiquette 101). As we talked, I didn’t even take a seat–I just bent myself at the knees and chatted, by my body language I was shouting that “I’m ready to get up and go whenever you are.” I asked them where the wife/sister was, they both laughed and the husband picked up his phone and showed me the screen. He literally had over 80 missed calls from her–they’d only been at the club for less than an hour. She was calling as he showed me the phone and continued to call over and over again while I chatted the brother up.

Single women are not allowed in the club I currently work at, probably for this reason. I don’t know when she put two and two together and figured out where exactly he was but when she did, she drove her ass to the club but, the bouncers made her wait outside for him. I don’t know how long she was out there but as I was walking out, I saw the husband and he was getting his ass handed to him by her. She was so MAD. I felt really terrible for him–he had actually been a very well behaved husband. He told every dancer that he was married and that he really preferred for them not to be on his lap, though he was buying them drinks and he tipped us all well on stage so we weren’t half as mad at him as his wife was. He wasn’t supposed to be there without her and I could feel her rage from being constantly sent to voicemail. Before she got there, I asked him if he was scared or nervous to face her but, he kept insisting that it wouldn’t cause a divorce so he didn’t care and wouldn’t care what she had to say about it. Men think so strangely, don’t they? Let me tell you, though, when I saw him outside with his hands in his pockets, he looked ashamed; like he was about to cry and he was trying his hardest NOT to make eye contact with any of the dancers that he had been buying drinks for as they walked out.

Lady #3

I met the first two ladies at the current club I work at, they were much more recent happenings so their stories are much clearer in my memory but I’ll never, EVER forget this tiny lady who attacked a dancer on the couch next to me.

The dancer was giving a regular couch lap dance to Lady #3’s husband (or boyfriend). Lady #3 was sitting in a chair watching from a close distance and all of a sudden she jumps up from her chair and on to the dancer, she pulls her by the hair off of him and starts beating the guy with her fists and feet. At this club, there were end tables with table lamps on each of them that separated the couches from each other, she kicked the lamp between us and it knocked over onto me and my customer. It was quite a show to watch since the bouncers had to be a little more gentle since she was such a small lady. They picked her up as she was kicking and screaming and they carried her out the front door but guess what? Her husband and his friends stayed at the club all night, right after she got carried out, the husband asked me for a dance and apologized about the lamp. I denied him at first, I was thinking “helllll no!” but he made a valid point that she was banned and couldn’t come back in, lol, so I did some dances for him and I was even able to convince him to do a private dance with me in case she were able to sneak back in somehow–so this time, I guess, encountering this lady actually worked in my favor.

39 thoughts on “Please, Don’t Bring Your Lady To The Strip Club

  1. Wow. There are some crazy women out there!
    I went to a strip club in Ohio when I was younger and I got drunk but had fun. I didn’t really pay attention to the women dancing, we were all at a round table talking. There were 2 other women and 2 men so it was fun. We all tipped any dancer that came to the table too since we weren’t doing lap dances. 😀
    You have a tough job. I’m glad you have a good man to come home to after!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I mean there are definitely times when I don’t mind women at the club. Especially if they are just having a good time and minding their own business the way you and your friends did! And that you respected the fact that the girls were just doing their job and you supported them. Those are the kind of women we WANT at the club!! 🙂

      And thank you, I am so lucky to have him. 💗

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The only time I went to a strip club with women we were in a club with male dancers. A gay friend of one of the women, a bi-sexual woman but that’s another story, had come into town from a state that didn’t have any strip clubs for gay men so he really wanted to go to one. So the group of us obliged and while we were walking around looking for a rumored gay strip club I saw an ATM sign and reminded him he’d need some cash. So we went to the ATM sign and it turned out to be hanging over the door of the club we were looking for. Fortunately for my personal comfort zone, the club was so packed by gay men that I could only see the dancers from the abs up. So while the ladies and gay guy went to find a better view, I sat at the bar. A guy hit on me and I was nice about it, but then he blinked and said, “You’re not gay, are you?” So I ended up telling him the story of how I got there, and he said I seemed pretty comfortable with all the (insert word) showing off. I told him I’d seen plenty of those in locker rooms. So we chatted a little more until he could politely disengage and look for someone else.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL! I wonder how men strippers feel about men in their strip clubs. I’ve only been to the Gay 90’s in MN which wasn’t a full-on strip club—more of men performing in speedos, so I have never actually really been to a real men strip club. 😦 As I walked into the Gay 90’s there were plenty of straight men bragging about how they were bought a drink by a guy lol.

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              1. I think a lot of women are like that. One of the reasons I haven’t dated much is because if faced with two equally attractive women I’ll naturally gravitate towards the one who is being friendlier which so far has usually been the one who wasn’t attracted to me.

                Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve never been to a strip club lol. All these women sound so crazy! Why take your man to a strip club if you’re just going to get mad and angry at the dancers for doing their job? Haha that’s just dumb. Actually, all three of those women just sound psychotic

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, are there any strip clubs in your town? There’s usually one small one in college towns, lol.

      Yeah last night this girl came with her boyfriend and when I went in stage I noticed he had a huge pin on that said “it’s my birthday” so I said, “happy birhday!!!” And his gf gave me the meanest look. 😭🙈

      They were all psychos. 😛 I don’t know why they come…they think they’ll be able to handle it and I think the alcohol might have something to do with their reactions.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha I think they’re may be one close to town, and I know we always drive past a couple on the way to the city.

        And oh God 😂 why take your boyfriend there then? Haha.

        Alcohol definitely makes their reactions worse. It’s like when you’re depressed and you drink it makes you so much sadder haha. It’s not good. Psychos get more psychotic

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You should try waitressing at one if it’s close to you!! It’s so easy to get a job as a waitress, especially since you actually know about alcohol. Sometimes I wish I was one of the waitresses instead, lol.

          They wanna be the “cool” gf when they’re really not and yeah, mixed with alcohol…it’s all bad. lol

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Wowww, this sounds crazy! I honestly don’t see the point in bringing your s/o with you to the strip club if you know how jealous they are? I mean it might be a “you can’t go unless I go” kind of thing. Me and my boyfriend have joked about going to a strip club together as a pre-wedding thing if/when we decide to get married. I’m bisexual so I think I’d have a pretty good time! And even better if he does too haha. I mean it’s just for fun! Some women take it so seriously haha

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    1. If I was a man and my gf said that I couldn’t go unless she came with me I’d take that as a cue as they both prob shouldn’t go then lol, but yeah I think sometimes it is like that…men don’t know better. They think it will be sexy if their girl gets into it but the girls go crazy with jealousy especially after a few shots.

      I had this amazing couple—the woman even got naked for me! It was hot! I think you’d like it a lot. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh my god these were hilarious! I don’t really get the big deal; plus, if you KNOW you’re jealous why tf are you going to go in the first place? Like it’s just looking – if you know you can’t take it, that’s fine, but why go and then blame everyone else for not knowing your own boundaries? Personally, I think it could be a really good experience – just go out and have a good time! x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ugh, seriously. So many girls come to just sit and make mean faces and tell their boyfriend “no” all night. Strip clubs CAN be a great experience for everyone as long as everyone’s down to have a great experience! 😄

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve gone to Vegas a few times with my wife. When we go to Vegas we like to have a blast and not be judged. A few times she’s the one that brought up idea of going to strip club as she wanted to see if the girls could tease me. The girls at strip club were awesome and they were digging that my wife was enjoying them teasing me and at times they would be trying to mess with her. It was good times. But I can definitely also see how other psycho girls could act based on your story. If my wife acted like that I would never agree to take her.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. hahaha I don’t understand why you would decide to go to a strip club with your man and then get mad if gets a lap dance. And their brother? Gosh, I wouldn’t care at all about what my brother/sister would do in a strip club. That’s for their partners to worry lol

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    1. They get mad by just their man looking at the dancers on stage (when where else are they going to look?) lol. I would not care about any of my little bros at a strip club either!

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    1. LOL! No kidding! Great analogy!!! I’m glad you haven’t had to deal with these kind of women. And if you ever do, I hope you don’t keep them around for too long!

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