In the end I stated that I think I have my drinking under control now but I don’t. I really do not.
I got so extremely drunk on Friday night at work. I blacked out and I know I was not getting along with the girl I shared a champagne room with. I was wild. Completely out of control. The way I hate to be. The way I really, really try hard not to be. I am so embarrassed!
I haven’t been back to work yet. I regret missing Saturday but I was hungover and still too embarrassed to face everyone.
I hope I’m not fired… there are signs all over the club about how we must not get too intoxicated or we will be fired or suspended…
I was alllll over the place but still made the club a lot of money. I don’t remember if I tipped anyone I was supposed to, though, which I may also be in trouble for.
I have so much anxiety.
Like the first or second month I worked at my current club I got even drunker than Friday night. I had to be carried out the back by a manager and I wasn’t fired for that… But maybe I was worse this time because of my attitude and actions? I don’t know. Ugh. Help me. I am the worst version of myself right now.
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