I was 19 years old and had just started working at my second club, Deja Vu in Minneapolis, MN.
Also known as, the big pink building downtown.
It was my turn on stage and the tip rail was full of young boys. The DJ played my favorite dubstep songs. I’m always, always nervous before I go on stage. I’ve been a dancer for 3 years now… my palms still sweat and my knees still shake RIGHT before I step on. But once I get on that stage… someone else takes over me. I immediately grab everyone’s attention (I even love it!) and though I am the clumsiest person off the stage, someone graceful and confident takes over me when I am center stage.
I was getting a lot of attention from the young boys so I remembered to remember their faces to see if I could get some of their “attention” (money!) after I got off stage. As I scanned their faces I definitely recognized one. I took a seat on the tip rail in front of him and asked him his name and what city he was from.
Yup, I definitely knew him… he was my first “boyfriend”… He asked me to be his “girlfriend” in 4th grade and would leave me cute drawings on my desk every morning. He moved away and switched schools but, I saw him again in 5th grade during a district track & field meet & he chased me around and around because he wanted a hug. My family moved pretty far away from that school district when I entered 7th grade. In 9th grade, he dated a girl that my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with. Our lives always intertwined somehow… and it was weird.
We hung out and smoked cigarettes on the Deja Vu Smoking Patio. He asked me if I wanted to hang out outside of there and I told him he could message me on FB since we were more than likely already friends. He remembered how to spell my name I guess because he found me and messaged me the next day. He wanted to bring me to some EDM concert that was being held at the Cabooze in Minneapolis. He must’ve thought I really enjoyed that genre of music just because I danced to it on stage.
Wrong! I didn’t really want to hang out with him in real life and I definitely didn’t want to go to some EDM concert with him. I never responded. But I would soon understand why our lives were being intertwined again!
A few days later, on a weekday, I saw a handsome boy sitting by himself, looking at his phone. I ran out of older prospects (who I’ll always choose first for various reasons). If it were a busier day, I would have never approached him.
Why? Well, I’ve got 5 reasons.
One: he was on his phone!
Two: he was too handsome, which makes me nervous!
Three: he was young… most of the time this means BROKE
Four: he was wearing a camo hat
Five: he was wearing a camo hoodie (NOT my style)
But, to this day, the best decision I ever made in my whole dancing career was building up the courage and actually talking to this handsome boy.
I walked up to him and I immediately asked him if he wanted a dance. I didn’t even introduce myself! I was so nervous. He looked up and I melted. He was so beautiful. He paused and I almost walked away.
“Wait, I think I know you!” He exclaimed. I confusedly stared at him. He went on to mention my 4th grade “boyfriend” then, quickly said, “and yes, I’d love a dance.” I was already in love. But… I looked him up on FB and it was super easy to find him with just knowing his first name since we had millions of mutual friends. He moved to the school district I moved out of shortly after I moved out… we ALMOST went to school together. It’s still so weird that we knew a lot of the same people but at different times.
His FB was filled with pictures of him and his girlfriend at the time. Even pictures with his girlfriend’s sister and family members… they were SERIOUS! I was absolutely crushed and I’d hung out with him just once. Of course, I didn’t send him a friend request even though I reeeeaalllyyyy wanted to. I saw him again a few times at Deja Vu but he was never alone… always with the same group that the boy I knew from 4th grade brought on that day. They came a little more frequently and he would always buy a dance with me… but I really believed it was all for fun. They were always sneaking booze into the club and doing all types of recreational drugs. So, I thought it was just a party and I was just their favorite entertainer.
After a few “parties” I received a friend request from this handsome boy.
Alex T******** wants to be my friend?!?! Yes yes yes. My heart skipped a beat! I never told him my real name so he had to have been asking about me! Eeeeekk!!
Right when I accepted his friend request, he messages me.
“What’s shakin shorty?”
I died. I thought this was the funniest pickup line ever… not cool, not smooth but I still didn’t know how to respond!
We messaged back and forth for awhile. I gave him my phone number then we texted for awhile. We talked about hanging out and I could tell he didn’t want me to go to his house. I thought it was a little bit suspicious but I already knew why… I didn’t believe we would ever be anything serious. But I couldn’t resist! I wanted to get to know him! He was on my mind constantly.
He started picking me up from the Vu on weekends when he didn’t have work. Which sometimes ended up being 5 in the morning but he was always there. He would sleep over. We would go on dates! Fun ones! We went to a Suicide Girls show, rode elephants at the circus, Dave & Buster’s, comedy shows, theatre shows, every event, every show, everything I wanted to do I wanted him to come along and he always happily joined me! Once he started sleeping over on the weekdays, waking up and going to work from my apartment, I started to feel and believe that I was something special to him. We were getting close and spending a lot of time together. I was starting to end all ties that I had with anyone else just because I wanted to. All of my free time, I wanted to spend it with him. Once I realized we were spending absolutely all of our time together and I wasn’t hating it… we talked about his girlfriend. He proved to me they had broken up by letting me listen to a voicemail of her crying about him breaking up with her.
He was understanding and patient with everything I had going on in my life.
I figured out why he never wanted me to go to his house. He lived with his girlfriend and other people but when he dumped her, he took barely all of his shit and left, lived with his dad for a bit. Then, he was telling me that he was looking for an apartment.
I told him that my apartment manager was quick and that I got my keys in less than a week, approved on the same day as I filled out the application. The same thing happened for him and he moved into a 1-bedroom apartment on the 3rd floor of my building. Shortly after he moved in there, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I told myself I wasn’t going to have a boyfriend for that whole year but I knew that I needed this man in my life for as long as he will stay.
For a few months, I kept my studio on the first floor. Alex didn’t want my cat in his apartment. I didn’t want to use the bathroom or get ready in his apartment. I was still too nervous around him. But… I always slept with him and when he’d go to work I’d mostly stay in his apartment until he came home. When I started showering in his apartment, we decided it was time for him to let me move myself and my cat in and we got rid of my studio apartment. I added my name to his lease of the 3rd floor, 1-bedroom apartment. Now, he loves cats, we’ve even adopted two more! 🙂 we’ve been together for almost 3 years (our anniversary is in November!) and we’ve moved all the way from Minnesota to Las Vegas together. I couldn’t be happier, I would never want to share my life with anyone else. He is my dream man and I plan on keeping him forever. ❤️
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